what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
