MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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