Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
