whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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