I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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