I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
