I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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