Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
