Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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