I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think i got beer on your cat.
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