Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
