cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
