I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
