I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
