I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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