I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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