that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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