why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
