Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
