Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
