Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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