Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
