our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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