Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
