dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
