Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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