If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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