yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
