my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
