My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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