Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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