Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
