Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize