i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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