I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
