At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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