The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
