We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
