So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
