great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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