Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
