Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
