I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
