spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
