hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
