i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
