Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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