I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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