I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
