you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
